Monday, April 20, 2009

Full Circle

As our journey for Elias comes to an end. I am extremely humbled. In the next few days I will try to catch up on documenting our experience in Africa. It was so extremely hard to even get onto the internet there so I have to "back blog" so to speak. But there is so much to tell that I could write a book, so instead I will try to enter as much of it as i can here.

Humility is a funny thing. I feel in myself it can turn on and off in the blink of an eye. Not by my choosing of course because above all things one of the most strived for virtues in life for me as a Christian is humility. But because of the humanness i suffer from, especially as an American. It is so easy to feel as though we deserve something as Americans. I felt more this way in Dubai as i watched people come and go demanding things and expressing their lack of humility. But when it came to Ethiopia God humbled me to the point where there were times I wanted to fall to my knees and grieve. Grieve for the sadness some of these people live with every day. And grieve because I live this life that to most people in Africa would be a fairy tale come true. A life they could NEVER even imagine in their wildest dreams. And why did i get the gift of being an American? The gift of being able to express who I am and live freely, worshiping the way I choose without discrimination. Experiencing things like foods, travels, lifestyles that others will never even get to see on tv. I still wrestle with the answer to that question. Why me? I am SO BLESSED. If you want to have something to thank God for, go to Africa. You won't doubt Him anymore.

So, as this journey comes full circle and I see the result of all my prayers, tears, joys, trials... I am truly joyous. For I have been given a son that is amazing. He is so full of joy, laughing and smiling almost constantly. And I have experienced a place where God truly is. He loves the people of Ethiopia. I feel it in the air there. And I see all my prayers answered. First the prayer for a son. Second, the prayer that I would conduct myself with grace through the great trials i would face. And I think though at times i struggled, i did that with His help. Thirdly, that we would make this journey with safety, especially when it came to Julianna. She was perfect. There was something about her on this trip that changed. She became so much more mature. It's like God placed it in her heart what He needed her to do and she just did it. I think in the 2 weeks that we were away, she cried maybe 2 times if that...seriously! She just went along for the ride, and NEVER faltered. It was something to see. 

So, in the end, we are blessed. To have seen the works of the almighty God that created our son for us. I wish each of you were there to experience it with me.

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